The use of “funeral services” is often today replaced with “memorial service” or “celebration of life”. The honor to the dead and sharing of memories has become traditional for many people.
Memorial services had seemed unnecessary to me and a waste of money. Robert Duvall starred in the movie Get Low about a country hermit who wanted to host a funeral party while he was living. To insure attendance he had a lottery for those attending his funeral party. This seems like a good idea to me and one that I may use.
My parents did not want any service and choice to be cremated with the ashes tossed in the Pacific Ocean. I did not understand Mom’s wishes as she had many friends but did understand Father’s as he had none and having died after Mother likely assumed nor did he care that her friends would not attend his service. I have asked my wife, and told my kids, that I wish to be cremated and my ashes also tossed off a boat in San Francisco ($500 extra but what the heck).
I wrote my obituary, blog of 7/12/2016, which is short and still requested when needed. I make no request regarding service as having attended services for my granddaughter, Lorelei Lea, and sister-in-law, Nora Burnham, I am most aware that the services are heartfelt and meant for the living. I now have no preference if a memorial service is held or not. A lottery may still be a good idea to generate attendance.
“We begin to remember not just that you died but that you lived—and that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget”. (Author unknown)
I also now believe that celebration of life should be a daily event. Go dance, sing, shout, kiss, and hug –make joyous sounds and movements.