LOL

Sense of humor

Q: Where would we be without our sense of humor?
A: Germany

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Cost of brains

In a village in darkest Africa a sign hung over a Headhunter’s market stall:
• Ordinary brains $10 /lb
• Engineer brains $8 /lb
• Doctor brains $7 /lb
• Accountant brains $15 /lb
• Consultant brains $114 /lb

Asked to explain the relatively high cost of Consultant brains, the Headhunter said “You don’t appreciate how many Consultants we have to catch to get a pound of brains!”

******************

Doctor’s visit

A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical examination.

The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”

The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”

The doctor replied, “Marry a consultant.”

“Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient.

“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”

*******************

What is a consultant?

A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then keeps your watch.

A consultant’s credo: Learn to be sincere even if you have to fake it.

A client with one consultant knows what to do. A client with two consultants is never sure.

*******************

Light bulbs…

How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?

1. It depends – “How large is your budget?”
2. We don’t know. They never seem to get past the feasibility study
3. Three. One to change the bulb, one to document the process and one to coach him on how to conform to the process.
4. Four. One to change the bulb and three to contemplate how Tom Peters would have done it.
5. Six. One to change the bulb and five to tell him how much better they could have done it.

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