What I have learned from my years of flying.

1. The earlier you arrive for your flight the more likely it will be delayed.
2. The later you arrive the longer and slower the security lines.
3. Not all TSA employees had parents who were married.
4. TSA has learned from grocery stores to assign the new employees to the express lanes.
5. The distance between your flight connections at the airport increases as your connecting time shortens.
6. United Airlines gives the DMV a good name.
7. The big heavy guy sitting next to you is me.
8. I feel sorry for anyone including my wife who sits in the middle seat.
9. Because of #8 I am reminded that my wife must love me.
10. Try not to change planes in Denver or Chicago or Atlanta or anywhere.